


I remember. Do you?

by MV39



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Break Up, F/F, Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-01
Updated: 2018-11-01
Packaged: 2019-08-14 03:55:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16485455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MV39/pseuds/MV39
Summary: It is one of those days. One of those days where she just wakes up and just stays laying down looking at the ceiling. Thinking. One of those days where her sister would check up on her every hour. One of those days when she feels that her life is not the same. That nothing is the same, really. One of those days she feels like something is missing, or should she say someone? It is one of those days where she remembers.





	I remember. Do you?

**Author's Note:**

> All mistakes are mine.

It is one of those days. One of those days where she just wakes up and just stays laying down looking at the ceiling. Thinking. One of those days where her sister would check up on her every hour. One of those days when she feels that her life is not the same. That nothing is the same, really. One of those days she feels like something is missing, or should she say someone? It is one of those days where she remembers.

She remember the day she got the courage to do what she wanted for a long time. She remember those amazing and happy 8 months. 8 months of happiness, she remembers. She remembers how all went down hill. She remember how she fucked up. She remember how she broke the heart of the person that she loved. Love, still love.

She remembers.

It's been a year already. And she still feels a hole inside of her.

It is a Sunday. That was their day. Where they used to just be lazy and stay in bed, wrap around each other. Enjoying the peace and quiet. Enjoying each other's presence in every way. Making love all day, and just cuddle up in bed listening to each other talk and/or listening to each other's heartbeat. She loved those moments. But she let all of that go.

_The sun was out. Kara could feel it in her face, and she could feel her body humming with energy. They forgot to close the blinds last night. After having sex - or making love like Kara likes to call it - all night, they were too tired to get up of bed._

_Kara stretches out. Making everything pop into place, and lets out a big sigh. She opens her eyes, blinking a few times to get use to the light of the sun around the room. She looks out to the big window and enjoys the sound of the birds singing and the sound of the cars from a far. She closes her eyes again, to concentrate on her favorite sound. The sound that she can pick up no matter how far she is._

_Lena's heartbeat._

_Kara always loves to listen to her girlfriend's heartbeat. After listening to her sister's first, and making sure she's ok, of course. There's something about their heartbeats that makes Kara calm. Especially if one of them is close to her. Like Lena is right now._

_Kara opens her eyes, and looks to her left. What she sees leaves her breathless, like always. The most beautiful woman she has ever seen is next to her, sleeping. Looking relax, and so peaceful. Kara loves when she looks like that. Not that Lena doesn't look hot and beautiful when she's dressed like a badass CEO and act like it, Kara loves that as well. But seeing her with all her walls down is just something else._

_Kara always wakes up first, just to look at her. Really look at her._

_She loves it._

_After watching Lena for Rao knows how long, Kara can hear her heart accelerating a little and then get back to the normal beat. Kara can see her stirring and tensing a little as well. That's until the beautiful brunette open one of her eyes. Closing it again and smiles._

_“Stop that.” Lena said._

_Reaching blindly to Kara’s face and put her hand over Kara’s eyes. The blonde takes the hand out of her eyes and kiss the palm._

_“Stop what, exactly?” Kara ask her girlfriend._

_“You were staring again. Don't you think that's a little creepy?”_

_“You love it anyways.”_

_“I do.” Lena said._

_Lena stretch out, letting out a sigh. The sheets sliding down her body, making Kara look at her girlfriend's amazing bear breast. Lena  finally opening her eyes looks at the adorable blonde staring again, but not at her face this time._

_“Enjoying the view, Ms Danver?” she tease._

_“You know i am.” Kara respond._

_Still staring at Lena's breast, Kara moves on top of her, taking the sheets out of the way to the floor. She kiss, and suck on Lena's boobs, finishing with a nip to each nipple, making Lena moan. Then resting her head on them. That's one of Kara’s favorite things to do._

_“What's the plan for today?” Lena ask, while tracing her fingertips over Kara’s spine._

_“It's sunday. So, what about some netflix and chill?”_

_“In what way?” Lena smirks._

_“In any way you want, my love.”_

_Both chuckled. Lena kiss Kara’s head before the reporter raise from her chest to look at her. How is she so beautiful, Kara always ask herself. Those beautiful eyes, her lips, her hair, her body. Her good heart. That woman is just something else._

_“I'm so lucky.” Kara whispered._

_“What?” Lena frowns._

_“I'm so lucky to have you.” Kara said, caressing her girlfriend's cheek._

_Lena smiles. “I'm the lucky one. You showed me so many things, Kara Danvers. How to let people in, how to love again. How to love myself, and how to be my own hero. And i'm so grateful for that. So, yeah. I'm the lucky one.”_

_Kara kiss her softly and passionate. Taking it all in. She's happy. It's been so long since she's been happy in a relationship. Well, she have never been happy in one to be honest. And that's why she knows that Lena is the one. The love of her life._

_After kissing her girlfriend, Kara cuddles her again, nuzzling on her neck. They stay like that for a while. Trying not to fall asleep, but failing. But then Kara breaks the silence._

_“I love you.” she mumbled on her girlfriend's neck._

_Kara can hear Lena's heart accelerating at that, making the blonde nervous. She's been trying to say it for a really long time, but chicken out after. But right here, right now, in Lena's arms, it feels right. But that doesn't stop her for getting nervous._

_She can hear Lena swallowing, trying to calm her breathing, and opening her mouth like she's going to say something but ends up saying nothing._

_Kara raise her head from Lena's chest once again, to look at her. She sees Lena biting her lip nervously. She can see the veins in her forehead. That ones that appear when she's pissed, sad, stress, or thinking too hard. And Kara can tell that she's thinking too hard right now._

_“You don't have to say it back. I just… that's how i feel. I've been wanting to tell you but i didn't want to scare you away. But right now,  it feels right. It feels so right with you, Lee. And Rao knows what's to come tomorrow or in the future, if we will be like this. Who knows. So, i don't want to waste any moment with you.”_

_Lena has tears in her eyes, and Kara is hella nervous. She doesn't know if it a good thing or a bad thing. Lena has tears running down her cheeks and Kara wipes them away with her thumbs. She gives Lena a kiss on her forehead, then pressing them together. Lena gives her a short kiss before looking at the blonde in the eyes._

_“I love you. I love you so much that it scares me, but I don't care. I don't care because we are here. We are here, right now, together, and that's all that matters.”_

_Now they are both crying, of happiness. They've never been so happy in their lives._

  
That was their last sunday together. Their last time on each other's arms.

Now all Kara feels is emptiness. She's laying on bed, with an empty side. The side that used to be warm. Used to. Now is cold, so cold that she's scared of touching it.

She's been through this so many times. But it nevers get easier. Maybe a bit, when her sister is trying to make her feel good and trying to distract her. With Kara asking her. But it doesn't go away. She fucked up. She remembers that night like it was yesterday. She remembers those last words. And it breaks her heart every single time.

_“And you can! Baby, you can. Please, please don't leave me, please!” Lena cried._

_“I love you, Lena Luthor.” Kara said with tears running down her cheek, before flying up to the sky, far away to not hear Lena sobbing and calling after her._

_“Kara!” Lena screams._

 

Kara still remember.

She remembers, all the calls, all the texts, all the times she heard Lena knocking at her door, crying.

She's trying not to cry right now. Not again. Even if it still too much for her, she doesn't want to cry. But her body apparently have other plans for her. So she cries. She cries, while remembering all of the happy moments, the hard moments, and the end. All she wants to do is go and see her. To see if she's fine. To hear her voice. To tell her how sorry she is, for breaking her heart. To tell her how much she still loves her. That she will always love her.

But she can't. She can't risk Lena's life. Not again. She decided to keep herself away from her to keep her safe. She can't.  She can't. But Kara’s heart it's telling her otherwise. And it's hard this time to concentrate on what her mind is telling her. She have succeed, for a long time. Listening to her head. But right now, it's hella hard, and she doesn't know what to do. She needs someone to tell her that is not a good idea. To forget about.

So, she calls her sister. It doesn't take too long for her to answer.

“Kara? Is everything ok?”

“I want to see her.”

“What?” Alex ask.

“I want to see Lena.” Kara whispers on the phone.

Then there's silence. Kara waits for her sister to tell her that it's not a good idea. To try to move on. But that doesn't happen.

“Would it make you feel better?”

That, Kara wasn't expecting.

"What?” Kara ask.

“Would it make you feel better? Would it make you talk about it? Like, really talk about it.”

“Alex, you are supposed to tell me that is not a good idea. It's been a year.”

“Yeah, I'm not gonna do that.”

“Why? I'm supposed to move on!”

“Kara, you've been hurting, yes. But you haven't really talked about it. You are keeping everything inside and that's not healthy, i told you that many time. I help as much as i can, but if you don't talk about it, I'm sorry but you won't move on. Even if you tried. So, if seeing Lena, and talking to her will make you feel better, go ahead. I think it would be good for you. For the both of you.”

“I-I don't know. I just… i want to make sure she's ok.” Kara said. Still not sure if it's a good idea.

“I know you want to keep her safe by not being with her. But, Kara, we already got those Cadmus guys. You don't  have to be afraid of losing her anymore.”

“What if there's other people, or aliens? I don't want to risk that, Alex.”

“Well, go as Kara Danvers. Cadmus only knew because of Lillian. I don't think anybody else knows who you are. Whether you like it or not, she deserves an explanation, Kara.”

“She knows it was to keep her safe.”

“Yes, but that's all she knows. You owe her more than that, and you know that.”

Kara sighs. She hates when her sister is right. Maybe it will make her feel better. Maybe. She knows that she owes Lena an explanation. But if they talk, what happens next? What's the next move?

“Ok, I'll do it.”

“Good! She's in her office right now, doing nothing so.”

“How do you know that?”

“I'll explain later. Call me when you are done, so i can drop by.”

“Alright, i love you! And… thank you.”

“I love you too, sis. Good luck. Not that you're going to need it. You got this.”

After hanging up, Kara gets up from bed and goes to take a shower. She really needs one to calm her nerves. This is exciting and scary. What if Lena hates her and don't want to see her? Kara shakes her head to make those thoughts go away. She knows that Lena would never hate her. But that doesn't stop her from getting nervous.

After getting ready, she decides to walk to L-Corp, so she can organize her thoughts and be ready. She grabs coffee on her way. One for her, one for Lena, and one for Jess, who probably hates her now for breaking Lena's heart.

When she's in front of the building, she takes a few deep breaths before going in.

She got this.

She gets to the top floor but doesn't walk out of the elevator. She's scared. Her hands are sweaty and shaking.

“Come one, Kara Zor-El Danvers. You got this. You can do it.” she mumbled to herself.

She walks out of the elevator before it closes and walks to Jess desk after taking another deep breath.

“Hi, Jess!” Kara tries to smile.

Jess stops completely what she's doing. After blinking a few times, she turns her chair slowly to Kara. She had her eyes wide open for a minute before she clears her throat and put the serious face with one of her eyebrows up. She totally learned that from Lena.

“How can i help you, Ms Danvers?” Jess said.

Yep, she totally hates Kara. Long gone were the laughs and smiles, and jokes, and the taking care of Lena. That's how they got close. They got that close that Jess one night admitted that she had a crush on Alex. And well, Alex had been crushing on the secretary for a long time, so Kara was excited. That was before everything happened with Kara and Lena. So, Kara doesn't know if they both did something about it. Her sister doesn't talk much about her love life anymore.

“Umm… hi. I-I brought you some coffee.” Kara pass her the coffee and watch Jess take a sip, not taking her eyes away from Kara.

“Hmm. Didn't forgot, i see.”

“Of course not. I never forget.”

"Yeah, me neither.”

Jess just stays looking at her. Kara knows Jess wasn't talking about the coffee anymore. And Kara doesn't know what to do. Jess is scary when she wants to be.

“So…”

“Oh, umm… I'm here to see Lena. If she's not busy of course.”

“For an article?” Jess ask.

“N-no. I just want to talk to her.”

“Not happening.”

That's all Jess says, before going back to whatever she was doing before Kara arrived.

“Jess, please! Just a few minutes. I really need to talk to her.”

Jess turns her chair once again. “Really? After all this time? What the hell, Kara?!” Jess tried not to scream.

“I know! I know, and i'm sorry for that. I'm here now, to explain. I owe her that. It's been hard for me as well. You should know that if you've been talking to Alex all this time.”

“Of course I've b-... wait. You don't know?”

“Know what?” Kara ask, getting confused.

“Alex haven't told, huh? I mean, i don't blame her.”

“Tell me what?”

“Not important, right now. Look Kara, i know it's been hard. It's been hard for the both of you. And trust me, for us too. Watching the ‘It’ couple not being together, it's not pretty. It makes us question if love is real… I'm exaggerating, of course it's real,  It's just that you guys were so happy and loved… well, still love each other. You guys were like our inspiration, if that makes sense.”

“‘It’ couple? And who is ‘us’?”

“Really? Is that all you got from that? You know what, forget about it. Ok, for real now. I'm mad at you for what you did, but i still want you to explain to her, i really do. Like you said you owe her that. But I really don't know if she would want to see you, Kara. Since the break up, she's been working like crazy. Keeping herself busy. Drinking a lot. She stopped drinking because i kept her away from all the alcohol she owns. Now she slowed down a little, but just a little, since Sam got here. But still, nothing really stops her now a days.”

“Sam? Who's Sam?” Kara ask. Trying not to get jealous. But fail, of course.

“Some friend of hers from Metropolis. She's the new CFO.”

Fuck, ok. It's ok. Lena has the right to move on. She deserves to be happy. That's all Kara wants for her.

“Ok. That's awesome.” Kara said, blinking her tears away.

Jess can see through her and can tell she's jealous but doesn't say anything.

“I-I still want to talk to her. Please, Jess. Just for a few minutes, that's all i ask.”

Jess sighs. “Fuck, you are gonna get me fired. You're lucky i like you… and you sister.” Jess whispers the last part but Kara hear her anyways. _Interesting._

They both jump when Lena's voice came through the phone.

“Jess?”

Jess make a sign to Kara to stay quiet before picking up the phone. Kara can still hear what Lena is saying. She knows that Jess knows, but they never talked about it.

“Yes, Ms Luthor?”

“Is there anything else on my schedule or am i done for the day?”

Kara missed that voice. It's like music to her ears, right now. It makes her heart go crazy.

“No, you are done for the day. Tomorrow, board meeting at eight.”

“Ok, thank you. Oh, and Sam is coming over with food, so don't go just yet, ok?”

Jess looks at Kara for a moment. The blonde gives her a small/sad(?) smile.

“Sure. Also… you have a visitor.” Jess said, winking at Kara.

“A visitor?”

“Yeah, some fan of your work. Don't worry we already check them and everything. They are free to go.”

“Oh, ok. Let them in then.”

Jess hang up the phone and looks at Kara again.

“Try to not make her cry, please. I hate seeing her like that.”

“I'll try my best. Thank you so much Jess, i owe you one.”

“Of course you do. Pizza, saturday at my place. Oh, and those potstickers that i can't stop eating for some reason. I'll get the alcohol.”

They both chuckled.

They will be alright.

Kara makes her way to the door. She takes a deep breath before opening it. She looks back at Jess, who is giving her a thumbs up, making her smile and get her nerves in control. Kara enters the office, closing the door behind her. The blonde looks up and there she was. Looking out at the city. Beautiful as always.

Lena hears the door close behind her and turns around.

Everything stops.

They both remember.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! This is going to be a 3 chapter fic. Or 4...? Maybe...
> 
> If you like it, you can leave some kudos and comment what you think. I would really like to know. :)


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